Independence to Interdependence: A Much Harder Lesson to Learn?

“I’m going out and you can't stop me!” “I’ll spend my money on whatever I like!” “I’ll go out with whoever I want!” These are all statements we have heard from children and young people. We probably said the very same words to our own parents or carers. Adults so often interpret these statements as a reflection of rebellious and impossible behaviours at worst, or expression of a grab for independence at best . . . or you might have reacted differently . . . but did you? Western societies value the notion of independence, associating the concept with choice and competency, but also with freedom and rights. As parents and carers of young people we want them to grow to adulthood and be able to exercise agency in the world, but do we ever prepare them for the ‘real’ world – one of complex interdependency in which virtually every action, every choice, every consequence and even a sense of self depends on others?