Avoiding saying too much: The complexity of relationships between permanent parents and social workers

Relationships between social workers and foster care, permanent care and adoptive parents are based on a combination ofknowledge, power, partnership and support, the ‘mix’ of which is likely to change over time. Different interpretations of what each side contributes to these relationships during assessment and post-placement contact, add to the complexity which parents and workers negotiate.

In a longitudinal research project on support in permanent placements, avoiding saying too much was an important part of these relationships. ‘Good’ and ‘bad’ parenting, expectations, blame, physical punishment and not coping are just some of the issues which were not spoken about.

This article explores the gap between the things which can be said and the things which are rarely said, and looks at how this gap affects relationships between fami lies and workers.